Change of the Tide

This year has brought new friends, new goals, new living situations, new experiences and new expectations.  This year has also brought with it new disappointments, new heartaches, new forgivenesses and new limitations.

This year I became more confident and also timid.  I became more impulsive and more cautious.  

I learned to be by myself, and learned to understand my headspace.

This year brought the change of the tide.  No two tides are ever the same, and this is me.

I will never be the same again.

Almost let it hurt.

It is too hard level with someone who won't let go of their preconceived ideas of the world.  When someone has been through that much pain and hurt in their lives that they wish themselves dead, it is almost impossible to take down the front that they have put up for their own protection.  After so many years of this learned behaviour any lowering of this protection is like climbing mount everest in the most severe of conditions.

All I want to do is make you understand how much I love you.

The waiting game.

The only thing worse than not knowing is waiting for answers.  Now to play the waiting game and see what changes over the next couple of weeks from the simple words of a letter.  Not too sure how I feel about waiting to see how it all pans out.  But on a more positive note feeling fresh fruity fresh more than I have in a very long time.  Having control is a liberating feeling.