Geek Out.

Well it is day 4 of best rest for my bulging back, and I am very excited.  I am excited because I woke up this morning and I thought that my Chiropractor appointment was at 11:15 and so I had plenty of time to get ready.  And then of course we were running 10 minutes late and when we arrived (me and jacinta) Cass had already gone.  Sad face?  No.  Because this meant I got to go to Officeworks and get my Geek on.  


So two of my aunties and one of my uncles have got these 2 Terabyte WD boxes and Digital Media Players which are basically a movie / video library.  So that instead of wasting all of my money on DVDs (a very impressive weakness of mine) you can just store thousands of movies on these hard drives and save all the money / space.  It is very excitement.  The only problem is now I am probably going to have like 2098327 hard drives to put on all the movies / music videos / tv shows i want on there.  So it's a little but of a predicament.  

But I am downloading a bazillion movies / tv shows at the moment and my amazing aunties are downloading all of their shows and movies now so I will pretty much have to buy a new hard drive again anyways.


Well I am much to busy and important.


Geek Out.

pain.

Pain is a normal part of life.  There's physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual pain ... a whole world of pain.
I want the pain to stop.


But on the upside, having a slipped disk you get an amazing cocktail of drugs.
Vallium/Diazepam, Codeine, Voltaren <3

Definitely takes care of the physical pain.

Round.A.Bout

It's funny.  When you are so used to people hurting you and disappointing you your skin becomes armour thick.  It doesn't hurt so much anymore ... words and actions bounce right off.  But like Achilles we all have that weak spot and those who can find it.  We just never think its going to happen. And then it does, and it strikes harder and more fierce than you could have imagined.  And it's like the armour you built never existed in the first place.  You're back at square one.  Round-a-Bout.  A never ending cycle that you thought you had beat.  Thought you had control over. 


Round.A.Bout.

Harm.

harm
noun
1. physical injury or mental damage; hurt: to do him bodily harm
2. moral injury; evil; wrong
verb (used with object)
3. to do or cause harm to; injure; damage; hurt: to harm one's reputation

self-de.struct
verb (used without object)
1. to destroy itself or oneself: The missile is built so that a malfunction will cause it to self-destruct
2. to cause itself or oneself to reach a state of collapse, dysfunction, confusion, or the like: The committee is so disorganised it will probably self-destruct before it can accomplish anything

Self harm and self-destruction come in some many different forms.  Drugs.  Alcohol.  Smoking.  Sexual Philanthropy.  Mutliation.  Gossip.  Mistakes.  Fear.  Narcissism. 

grow some balls and say it too my face.

Dear Daughter.

Dear Daughter,


I remember well the day you left my side, wandered through the veil and ventured forth to fulfill your earthly mission. I had a tear in my eye as I clothed your spirit in a cloak of love and sent you off to school. Be assured that my thoughts are with you now, as always.

I love you with all of my heart. I know your life, the good, the bad, your grief, your disappointments, your unrewarded efforts, your frustrations. But always remember - all that I have is yours if you will only come home again.

Daughter, realize that in you I have placed a bit of heaven. No one was exempt. I love all of my children. You have some blest gift, some talent, some little part of me in you. Search for it, develop it, use it, and most importantly, share it with others. If you really love me, then help others find themselves and lead them to me Show your love by serving others.

Repent of your failings and humble yourself. Make yourself ever teachable and continually strive to improve. I gave you weaknesses to help you be humble. Don't condemn me for that. I did it because I love you. Be full of hope. Don't let discouragement engulf you. I'll come if you need me.

Daughter, cease you idle contentions. Be a peacemaker, for it breaks my heart to see so many of my children fighting. If they could only see what I have hoped, planned and desired for them. My heart breaks as I watch them. But you, faithful daughter, are my hope. It is through you that my work must proceed. You haven't much time and there is so much work to be done. I beg you to get started. Accomplish the mission I gave to you before you left me. I'll help you. I'll never be too busy or too far away to come to you. I'm nearer to you always than you might suspect. I have so much I would like to tell you, but I can't here.

Come to me often in prayer. I love to talk to you, my beloved daughter. Be diligent in my work and my kingdom shall be yours. I'd love to take you in my arms, but I too, must wait patiently: that time will come. Till then I leave you my peace, my blessing, my love, and never forget I am nearby whenever you need me.

I love you and miss you so very much and, oh, how I am looking forward to your return to me and your Mother.

All my love,

Your Heavenly Father.