choice.

Why is it that when you know something is wrong, all of a sudden the ability to stop or quit magnify's a thousand fold and you end up and half way down a bottom-less well? (And how can you be half way down a bottom-less well? Well feel like me and then try and argue).  I know it's wrong, I know that I am better than it and yet the possibility to change the action in the last few months has seemed slim-to-none.

And what is all this love-stuff about anyway? (Yes I am feeling extremely cynical today. Optimism - 0 Siobhan Cynical Outlook on life - Rising).  I have had boys tell me they love me, tell me that I mean the world to them and have them wear their heart on their sleeve when they are around me.  And yet they can't save me from themselves, or myself too, really.  When you truly love someone I think that they come first in your world.  And that if anything was going to hurt them that you would do anything to stop it.  That selfish desires wouldn't get it the way.

Even as I'm reading this I sound like a petty sook.  But with a little background knowledge I know that 99% of you would have my back (;

DRAG OVER.

I will bring sunshine, daisy's, rainbows and all that nice junk to my next entry.  For now I am letting myself wallow. (NERD ALERT: Gilmore Girl fans ... appreciate for a moment.)

Holding my breath and counting the stars.